Many times, it’s easy to say something that shouldn’t be said. Sometimes, because of anger, excitement or any other emotion, we say things that are better left unsaid. It has happened to us all, but it’s more than just a slip of the tongue. It is an ingrained behavior that needs to be addressed and corrected so that we can help to bring success and happiness to others, as well as ourselves.
Obviously, as we previously discussed, there are many times that we need to speak up, but there are also many times when it may be better to keep our comments to ourselves. “Do you see a man who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for him.”xx Many times, it is a hard decision, but with the tools you are developing in this program, it will become much easier.
Here are the questions you should ask yourself before speaking:
- Does it matter? Sometimes it just doesn’t matter. Maybe someone is trying to convince you that the sky is green. Is it really worth even engaging in a conversation with a person like that?
- Does it need to be said? The classic example is if someone leaves the cap off the toothpaste. Is it really that important that you would be willing to get into an argument about it?
- Does it need to be said now? Maybe it is something that needs to be said, but does it have to be said in this instant? If you have a friend who just got into a fender bender at the grocery store, is now the time to criticize their driving skills? It would probably be better to let some time pass and allow their tension to ease.
- Does it need to be said now by you? You might be in the movie theater one day and see an out of control child. Yes, the parents should learn to control their child, but they are in line to see a different movie than you. Let it go. It isn’t your situation to get involved in.
Michael at R2W
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