communication

Qualities for Godly Leadership Part 4

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This week we are continuing our study into the characteristics God looks for when choosing people to reach the lost. You can find the last message in this series here, for a quick review.

God uses Christians who build others up

The first characteristic we’ll look at today is the ability to build others up. In John 13:3–5: “Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.”  Jesus was able to build up others because He knew who He was. And He knew who He was because He was living in His full potential.

Stages of Development 

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It’s important to know the stages your children will grow through and how you can be there to help them and to encourage them through each of these stages.  It’s also important to examine the stages you went through growing up.  This will help to give insight into who you are today.  They do not happen at exactly the same time for everyone, but you will be able to get a rough idea as to when each stage begins and how long it will last.  The three stages we need to discuss are the:  

Communication With Your Spouse

We have all sat through a wedding ceremony, if not participated in one of our own and this is roughly what we heard,

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or agreed to: 

I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part. 

That’s it!  That’s all you have to do to have a long, happy marriage.  If you are already married, start doing what you promised too.  If you are not married yet, but are in a relationship with the one you intend to marry, then start doing this stuff now, before the wedding.  There’s nothing wrong with getting a head start.  If you’re not in a relationship now and have no plans to get married, learn this anyways because the day will come when you will meet someone who is that special to you.   

Communication With Your Family 

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The importance of communication is frequently talked about with regards to successful relationships, sadly however, failure to communicate is very common in families today.  The problem lies in the fact that there is so much pressure placed on families by society.  We are told how we should act and what we should do.  Everybody is trying to stuff so much into their lives that communication gets put on the back burner.  As one fails to communicate, the tension builds and it becomes a downward spiral, until the unfortunate point is reached where the family begins to deteriorate.  You can see it in families all around you.  Unfortunately, many homes have turned into “war zones.” 

Communication and Learning Styles

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 Let’s thank God for making us all very different and unique.  We all develop different personalities and ways to interact with the world around us.  Could you imagine how boring our world would be if we all responded to the same stimuli in exactly the same way?  There would be no variety or spice to life.  However, having all these differences does make our relationships and our attempts at learning a bit more complicated.  Once explained, people’s communication and learning styles do become much easier to understand, especially with practice.  Before I begin discussing these communication and learning styles, keep in mind that no two people are alike and most people have a blend of more than one style.  Some people may even have a communication style that is different from their learning style.  The three styles are visual, auditory and feeling oriented people. 

Qualities for Godly Leadership Part 3

God Uses Leaders Who Trust Him

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Abraham trusted God for the things promised. He had faith. In Romans 4:19–21 it says “Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead—since he was about a hundred years old—and that Sarah’s womb was also dead. Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.’

Four Questions To Ask Yourself Before Speaking 

Many times, it’s easy to say something that shouldn’t be said.  Sometimes, because of anger, excitement or any other emotion, we say things that are better left unsaid.  It has happened to us all, but it’s more than just a slip of the tongue.  It is an ingrained behavior that needs to be addressed and corrected so that we can help to bring success and happiness to others, as well as ourselves. 

Would You Rather Be Right Or Happy?

Stop spending so much of your time and energy trying to convince others about what you believe or your point of

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view.  It is a waste of time, energy and rarely accomplishes much except to get the other person mad.  The best example of this is to turn on an evening talk show on one of the news networks.  There you will see the greatest example of a Dale Carnegie quote: “Those convinced against their will are of the same opinion still.”xiv 

Some Suggestions About Criticism

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One of the biggest problems I have seen that has an impact on people’s communication skills and the experiences that they have with others is their ability to criticize much, while keeping praises and complements to a minimum.  In my experience, what has strengthened many of my relationships is my ability to give out more compliments than criticisms.  I try to find genuine reasons to give a compliment.  Most people will know if you are making things up.  It is usually much easier to find what is wrong with a person and how they do things differently from you, than it is to see the positives and similarities.